The Journey

How do we transform?  Can we change?  Why, after thirty years, does someone finally begin anew?  Why that day?  These questions have always fascinated me.  Several years ago, as I was recovering from a chronic illness, I lost someone I loved, and these questions became personal.  I was depressed and angry, and my belief system, that had never really been tested, did not support me.  I had to begin anew.  After an epic amount of trying (and modalities, workshops, etc), I went away for four months on a silent retreat.  First came the fear.  Then the acknowledgment of all the choices I had made and the consequences. Then came the sadness.  Finally, there was silence.  I watched it snow.  I went to bed and rose with the sun.  I walked.  I prayed.  I meditated.  I listened.

Then, it happened.  I dipped into the well of my being.  I discovered the place inside of me where I am whole and connected to all life.  I discovered that I was born with cosmic questions and curiosities that could sustain me for my lifetime.  For the first time in my life, I was satisfied.  It was always there, but I had never listened deeply enough or long enough.  It was always there! I had just not listened deeply enough or long enough.

This story does not have a Hollywood ending.  There was no surging music, no magical transformation of my outside circumstances.  I went back into the world with a glimpse of the truth, an awareness that has to be cultivated by participating in a daily practice (and that is easily lost when I don’t practice).
How do we transform?  Intention, awareness, practice, practice, partnership, practice, courage, grace…
Why does it matter?  Because life is counting on us to grow up spiritually and emotionally so we can go deeper into the world, and serve life more fully.

What is your gift?  What are you learning? What is your practice? I’d love to hear the story of your journey…

love
Patricia

For amazing teachings on practice and transformation I recommend this interview with Matthieu Ricard: http://speakingoffaith.publicradio.org/programs/2009/ricard/

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~

(Dream Work)

Spring

On the Equinox, my neighbor stopped by to watch the sunset with me. Our road runs east to west and when the sun dipped down, Highway 2 looked like it was on fire! There we stood, a 70 year-old farmer from Minnesota and a 39 year-old woman most recently from the city, awed and speechless. After the glow began to fade, we looked at one another and just grinned like kids. So simple, so beautiful.

It’s easy, up here, to remember where we are and stay close to the phenomenon of our world—this amazing planet, supported by this golden sun, in the middle of a galaxy with billions of stars.

From here, I remember: there is a rhythm and beauty to life, and I am intimately connected. It is in me and I in it. I promise, the world is not speeding up…just us humans. Come and sit in the sun for a day, and you will remember too…

love,

Patricia

The Sun by Mary Oliver

Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful

than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon

and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea,
and is gone–
and how it slides again

out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower

streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance–
and have you ever felt for anything
such wild love–
do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure

that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you

as you stand there,
empty-handed–
or have you too
turned from this world–

or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?

Under the Full Moon

Last night, we walked under the full moon.  Silence.  Unbelievable stillness.  It was so bright that we didn’t need flashlights.  The snow caught that light, and all the stars that disappeared in the presence of the moon, seemed to be suddenly under our feet.  I could barely breathe it was so beautiful.

I wished you were here.

So many people tell me that they do not have time for retreat or that they feel guilty about getting away or doing “nothing.” Oh, if there is not time for awe, stillness, for a moment of peace what will become of us? This space, this depth is where the soul works.  Where it finally gets its say.  Come, let it speak.

The Fruits of Our Labors

Right now, the trees are frosted over and shining in the sun. The birds are singing as they fly back and forth from the trees to the birdfeeder. I just saw a hermit walking into the woods with her snowshoes. Janice is baking bread in the kitchen. Nora (the new Operations Manager) is giving a new guest a tour. I can hear Corrie, our intern, working in the shop, and I have time to write to you!

These are the fruits of our labor. This is what we (The Dwelling and you) created.

When I last I wrote to you, I was up here alone getting ready to re-open on the 1^st of September, and open we did with the help of volunteers. With the continual help of your time and generous donations, and the revenue from our beloved hermits, we were able to hire back a part-time chef and housekeeper just before the end of September. In October, our first intern arrived, Nora. On 19 November, she became the operations manager! On January 6^th Corrie arrived. We have made it to 2010!

We have not just remained open; we are on our way to creating a sustainable business model and executing a new vision firmly rooted in the foundation of our founders’ dream. Part of this vision is to make retreat affordable (we now have $50 retreats and a service exchange program that allows anyone to have an extended retreat for free). The other part of this vision is to support people on their spiritual journey. Nothing is more important right now. The world is changing, as always. Life goes up and down. How will we remain peaceful in the midst of these changes? What practices sustain us so that we can continue to participate in life in a way that will serve the next generations?

There is still much to do, and there is still some financial uncertainty. But, I do not think that we live in a world of certainty. What we do have is a clear vision, an unshakeable faith, a creative spirit, and deep gratitude for how our vision has already been served. 232 individuals experienced the peace and blessings of the Dwelling since September 1^st. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for making this possible!

There have been so many wonderful people and stories since September. Too much to write now … view my photo album (below) so you can see the last few months in pictures!

Thank you for your trust and support. We are here. Waiting for you. I’ll see you soon.

Love,

Patricia

Director’s Photo Album

more about “Dwelling Director“, posted with vodpod

Facing Challenges

Dear Hermits and Friends,

This is a critical junction in the history of the Dwelling, and a time of transition for many of us in the world.  The gift of a moment like this is that it calls me back to my core beliefs.  Everything unimportant falls away and I can see clearly again what matters most, and this is what I know for sure:  There is nothing more important than having a practice of rest and retreat.  As we commit ourselves to the practice of retreat, we develop our inner capacity to face the challenges in our lives, and we have access to our deep wisdom from which we can create new sustainable possibilities.  Without rest and reflection, we will frantically patch together solutions that will be imbedded with the same problems.  We will miss the larger messages and lessons of our spiritual journey.  We will miss the joy of life.  Because I believe so deeply in the power of retreat and the sacred space of the Dwelling in the Woods to support you in your practice, I will do everything possible to ensure the future of our beloved retreat center.
I have an ulterior motive in my commitment to the Dwelling and to your journey.  I want more than anything for you to have the opportunity to know (remember) your unique gift and to give that gift to the world (to me!).  Imagine, if we all knew our goodness and could live it.
Next time, I’ll tell you more about my experience, but for today the most important thing I want you to know is that I am absolutely committed to this place and to our journey together.  This, my dear friends, is my vow to:

You and I
We meet as strangers,
each carrying a mystery within us.

I cannot say who you are
I may never know you completely
But I trust that you are a person in your own right
possessed of beauty and value
that are the Earth’s richest treasures.

So I make this promise to you:
I will impose no identities on you,
but will invite you to become yourself
without shame or fear.

I will hold open a space for you in the world
and allow your right to fill it
with an authentic vocation and purpose.

For as long as your search takes,
you have my loyalty.

- A Vow by Theodore Roszak

With deep love and gratitude,
Patricia